The local village rumor-rag where everyone who is anyone can find their name in print. Get the scoop on the professors, staff and even the dirt on new students.
If you have a story to tell, put your name in the pot on the Enrollment page and our very own gossip columnist, Quercus M. Purlmutter, will be in contact.
Hear Ye, Hear Ye!! Get your rumor-rag and learn of all the local gossip in and around Hoggstowne Wizarding Village! What dirty dirt has been uncovered on YOU? Find out in The Rumoribus. See some teasers right here. Pick up your copy at The Nook & Cranny. Be among the first 50 enrollments and get a free copy. It’s vile!
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By Persnickity Glick
A savvy witch visiting Muggle family in the state of Ohio sighted one Professor Flipwick on the grounds of a well-known castle, a location where he spent several days and engaged with many local witches and wizards. Was this a conference? A vacation? Or is Flipwick scouting sites for a potential second regional school as more magical families move to the area? This reporter promises to continue searching for an answer as discerning readers will want to be the first to know of a future Hoggstowne expansion.
By Runcible Spoone
In an unprecedented move, Headmaster Albert Dumblewort has given all instructors the right to observe and, in essence, pre-judge all students who will be attending classes in the Hoggstowne Village of Witchcraft and Wizardry for the 2016 term to the tune of awarding house points, in some cases before houses have even been determined. Some speculate this pre-emptive move implies that both Headmaster and faculty will be on high alert for the coming term, seeking to oust troublemakers and pre-choose prefects before students even arrive. Parents and guardians have met the news with mixed reactions, while most respond that their student(s) have nothing to worry about as their wee witches and wizards “never do anything wrong” (per a doting mother from Maysville), some are concerned that this off-season accumulation of merits (or demerits, as the case may be) run the risk of removing a student’s right to “just be a kid, after all” (per one frustrated father from Frankfort) during non-school months. The jury is still out on what this will mean in real terms for the coming school year but the smart student would mind her or his Ps and Qs for the foreseeable future. More on this story as it develops.
By Persnickity Glick
Fashion trends move quickly through the Muggle world and are often slower to reach even the most fad-conscious among we wizards and witches. That said, notoriously well-dressed Margaret McClanahan was recently seen decked out in a flashy get-up purchased from none other than Gud Vale, a boutique normally frequented only by trendy Muggles. Her rich red ensemble was a far mark from her normal somber school robes, leading this reporter to wonder if this reserved Professor might have a special someone she was planning to impress with her new look. Until this can be confirmed or denied one must at the very least assume that Muggle-wear is headed our way so plan your fall shopping accordingly!
By Vance Ruble
Delphi Truelong, Hoggstowne’s own Divinations teacher, claims to have experienced a “most powerful vision, nearly knocked me down the stairs” in which she clearly foresaw excellent sales for all who will vend in the Nook & Cranny for the 2016 school year. She stated, “the inner eye is often most specific when it comes to financial matters but I double-checked with both tea-leaves and scrying bowl to be certain.” With three indicators on her side, it seems obvious that good times are headed toward all with the business acumen to choose the Nook & Cranny. Congratulations to you!
From the Editor: In the interest of full reporting it should be noted that Ms. Truelong herself will be one of these vendors. QMP
By DeVonda Smarmsh
A recent rash of meta-
morphoses from human
to animal among known
wizards who are not registered Animagi has led to concerns over a popular new spell that has been sweeping the States. This spell, which will remain unnamed for obvious reasons, replaces the months-long and mandrake-heavy method of acquiring Animagus status with a fast, simple, albeit temporary shift for the witch or wizard who uses it. One notable witch who appears to be exploring the use of this new spell is Plummery Sprig, Herbology instructor in Hoggstowne. At the time this article was written Sprig was in the midst of a month spent exploring squirrel-ness – whether for pleasure or research is hard to tell as the language of squirrels is heavy on tree metaphors, light on content, and entirely devoid of a concept of time. One can only hope that Sprig’s exploration, once complete, will lead to more information about the safety and long-term use of this spell.
By Runcible Spoone
The notable absence of Hoggstowne’s groundskeeper, Rudolphius Haggrus, has caused not only an increase in garden gnomes but also a concern about the beloved Haggrus’ well-being. Last seen in the spring, Haggrus commented that he, “might be away a bit n’all” but said little more. As his family is unavailable for comment and no other wizard or witch appears to know where he is there is strongly held speculation that he is traveling, possibly on a task for Hoggstowne Headmaster Dumblewort. As a community, we all hope Haggrus is traveling well and that he will return to our humble community soon.
By Persnickity Glick
Mysterious Hoggstowne professor, Vladimir Snape, left the village in an apparent snit, having been denied the much-coveted Defense Against the Dark Arts position for yet another school year, as those in the know are already well aware. It appears that the moody professor has opted to forego academia this summer and, instead, has immersed in a heretofore unknown talent for music. Rumor has it that his band - yes, I said band and when I say band I mean that the man in black is the frontsman and all – is on the road, being well-received, and subsuming his disappointment in a heaping helping of fan adoration and paparazzi playfulness. All this reporter can say is WOW, I didn’t see that one coming. Get out there and catch this show now, there’s no telling how long our unexpectedly capricious master of sulk will stay in the limelight and this is one experience you must have in person!
By Toadstool “Toady” Von Kleep
Ah, my fellow garden lovers, fall is upon us once again. The leaves are turning, the mornings bear a chill we thought might never come again after the heat of summer, and it is time to de-gnome the garden before the first frost arrives. As most of you certainly already know, a garden must be thoroughly de-gnomed prior to first frost before the gnomes set in the freeze, leading to a mass sporing come spring and more gnomes than you can shake a wand at! No magical treatment in the wizarding world can knock out a deep infestation of post solid-frozen Gernumbli Gardensi spores and my almanac suggests this is going to be one cold winter, my friends.
So pull on your gloves, get your gathering bag prepared with a solid extension charm, and let’s get those gnomes! My tip, besides sheer elbow grease or a well-trained Jarvey, is to use a somewhat modified Vertiginum spell – if you add just a touch of Leviosa to your Vertiginum the gnomes float easily from their burrows, already dizzy. This allows a clever witch or wizard to merely scoop them straight from the air with your prepared bag which can be deposited over the nearest garden wall (or, if you prefer, in a gnome sanctuary) with little muss or fuss.
While it may seem like eons before our first frost is upon us, hesitation may spell doom for your hope of a gnome-free garden come springtime. Save yourself a lot of headache and hassle and de-gnome today. This is Toady, signing off for now, but I’ll see you in the garden!
By DeVonda Smarmsh
Transmogrification appears to be an ongoing interest for Hoggstowne professor Plummery Sprig. After more than a month “experiencing squirrel-ness” Sprig has shifted again, this time into a flamboyant Maple. While the tree is, in fact, quite splendid the question remains: what is Sprig up to? Only time will tell as even the most gifted linguists in the wizarding world have yet to crack the code of tree communication.
Watch for upcoming stories & gossip
By Bindee Grex
Molly Moze McClain – Molly Moze to her friends – will be joining House Draconius for the upcoming term. This young witch has already long since been claimed by her preferred feline familiar – or, as MollyMoze herself puts it, she lives in “slavery to feline dominance” – and don’t we all just know that feeling?! The real question is, of course, which of Molly Moze’s feline overlords will accompany her to Hoggstowne in the fall?
Molly Moze discovered her magical bent through an organic talent for Evanesco – a vanishing experience most of us must learn through use of a spell and a great deal of practice. This natural ability led, obviously, to both an interest in Transfiguration and a leaning toward using her powers for humor. While Molly Moze also has an inclination for Care of Magical Beasts – one must, of course, if one is to be appropriately owned by ones cats – her real interest lies in the mysterious art of Divination. That’s a future star for you, Professor Truelong! Excited by expanding her wizarding community network, watch out for Molly Moze’s taste in practical humor – you may receive an unexpected (and undeserved) Howler, see your confections transmogrify before your very eyes, or even find yourself foxed with Sir Basil Rathbone reading Sherlock Holmes on constant repeat in your luggage. No matter what, Miss Molly Moze is a witch in the know that YOU wantto know!
Don’t miss Molly Moze’s knitwear in the Nook & Cranny. Shawls and scarves to flutter, float, and flatter.
Start with a template then add and/or delete patches for your own custom jacket.